The Anatomy Of A Media Circus: Will The Real Bigfoot Please Stand Up?

 

Dateline: Palo Alto, CA, August 16th, 2008

 

Upon arrival to The Cabana Hotel to cover the much publicized “Bigfoot Body Found” Press Conference, the media flotsam and jetsam that washed in for the affair were greeted in the parking lot by a smattering of rogue Bigfoot enthusiasts, including one such dressed up as the furry critter himself.

 

Member of the media searching for a soundbite

 

After snapping the requisite photos and jotting down any obvious sound bites, I followed the general media ooze onward into the hotel — falling in line with my camera, notepad and credentials at ready — catching the wave and letting it carry me into the hotel along with the collective throng, then out into the courtyard where the star of the show, the so-called “Bigfoot Hunter” himself, Tom Biscardi, was holding court during an interview conducted by a local news reporter.

Like the rest of the media amoeba I’d attached myself to, I assumed this was part of the gig, so we all started lining up around Biscardi like a school of swarming piranhas waiting to sink our fangs into whatever tidbit of Bigfoot flesh was tossed our way. However, we were all a bit too quick off the mark in this instance, as the Bigfoot Hunter got suddenly testy, chastising us because this was a “private interview, so please disburse,” as we would all soon get our opportunity to talk to he and “The Boys”, as Biscardi referred to the gentlemen from Georgia who purportedly discovered the dead Bigfoot body which we had all come to witness.

Mr. Biscardi then directed us to go wait our turns like good little boys and girls in the conference room where the big show would soon commence. So, in concert, we stuck our tails between our legs and wandered aimlessly about for the next few minutes, trying to find the aforementioned conference room. One wrong turn took us to a women’s conference and for a moment I dreamt of a far away day when Bigfoot Women’s Conferences would be a common occurrence once the truth is revealed that they are here among us, ready to leave the woods and take to the cities to enjoy the conveniences of modern day living.

 

 

 Gathering of the media

After pausing a second to entertain my future Bigfoot vision, I continued on in my quest with the rest of the media throng until at last we found the much sought after conference room, which was indeed a sight to behold, packed to the rafters as it was with  a phalanx of photographers and cameramen from all the local network affiliates, including a live feed from CNN, poised to capture what we all hoped would live up to the improbable hype. Soon after, Tom Biscardi and his entourage made their grand entrance into the room.

In due course, Biscardi took to the podium and recounted the tale of how he became involved in this latest and greatest of Bigfoot capers. Apparently, the two individuals in question who found the body, Mathew Whitton and Rick Dyer, were guests on Biscardi’s Bigfoot Hunter internet radio show some time back and at that time shared their  incredible tale of one June day trekking through the North Georgia wilds and stumbling upon what they have described as none other than the legendary beast itself. After their radio interview, Biscardi became more intimately involved in this emerging story when “the boys” — Whitton and Dyer — invited him to fly out to Atlanta to take a peek at their evidence. During this trip, Biscardi was shown photos and given apparent DNA samples of something (alleged to be the dead Bigfoot) and it was this “evidence” which was to be presented at the press conference. More on that later…

Eventually, “The Boys” allowed Biscardi to view the body, an experience he described as “euphoric.” Biscardi – having gained the trust of Whitton and Dyer – was then enlisted in a group venture to bring their story to the world. It was at this point that the body was turned over to Biscardi who then launched a whirlwind media campaign inviting the likes of Megan Kelly of FOX News to come out to “probe it, touch it and smell it” at a certain safehouse where the corpse is now being kept under constant watch by an armed guard. According to Biscardi, this process of autopsying the body will begin Monday, August 18, conducted by “several scientists.” At that time, Biscardi plans to allow in film crews to document this seemingly historic event.

Biscardi then turned over the podium to Mathew Whitton, who he referred to as a “hero”, stating that Whitton had been wounded —  shot in the hand, specifically — the inference being that his injury occurred in the line of duty, as Whitton is a police officer (of some persuasion) who is currently on administrative leave. However, Whitton’s current employment status is unclear and when asked if he was indeed a police officer, he responded “No Comment” which leads to speculation that Whitton is currently being disciplined or perhaps in jeopardy of dismissal.

 

Whitton (with wounded hero hand) & Biscardi

Whatever the case, Whitton proceeded to relate the story of how he and his friend, Rick Dyer, one day went hiking deep into the North Georgia woods, miles from any road, when by dumb luck they “stumbled upon this creature” laying next to a stream, appearing to have been dead for a couple of days with guts hanging out of its belly. Whitton stayed with the dead Bigfoot while Dyer went back and recruited some help, and with the aid of other unidentified individuals, dragged the thing out of the woods and back home with them. Apparently, a tow truck was also used during the recovery, although it can be assumed that Whitton, Dyer and the others who assisted in the effort must have dragged the creature quite some distance, indeed a grueling task given the fact that it allegedly weighed in at over 550 hundred pounds.

As to the Bigfoot’s demise, Whitton claims that he doesn’t know how the creature died, however earlier reports of the Bigfoot’s death (apparently attributed to Whitton and Dyer) stated that it had been shot by a certain “felon.” In this regard, there are those who claim a number of inconsistencies have arisen surrounding Whitton and Dyer’s story over the course of its short but colorful history.

While removing the corpse from the woods, Whitton claimed that he and his group were followed by three other Bigfoots, an episode allegedly captured on film. However, this footage was not presented at the press conference and, it can be surmised, that Biscardi, Whitton and Dyer are planning to market this footage at some future date. To this end, Biscardi and the boys made no bones about being in this venture for profit, which is of course the America Way: To dress Bigfoot up in an Elvis jumpsuit, replete with sequins and a cape, and give him his own reality show.

When questioned as to the exact location where the corpse was discovered, Whitton stated that he has no intention of revealing this information to the public because he “wants to help protect the species,” and that disclosing the site would create the sort of Bigfoot feeding frenzy that could be harmful to these creatures and ultimately destroy their habitat. However, at a later date, Biscardi and the boys are planning to lead expeditions out to this area, a venture which you can bet dollars to donuts won’t be purely scientific in nature, but intended to generate a Bigfoot gravy train for the trio. This will include an attempt to capture an actual Bigfoot. In fact, when asked how much money he and the boys hoped to make from their endeavors, Biscardi replied, “As much as we can!”

 

Biscardi & The Boys: Laughing all the way to the bank?

When asked why he hadn’t immediately reported his Bigfoot discovery to Georgia authorities, Whitton replied that he saw no reason to do so, which indeed seems a curious statement, as the corpse was apparently discovered on state land, and anything removed from said land is under the domain of Georgia Fish and Game Laws. Whitton — himself a sworn officer — must certainly have been aware of this fact. Just the same, it appears that Georgia authorities aren’t overly concerned about these dead Bigfoot allegations, as they consider the story a probable hoax. Of course, this begs the question: If this corpse doesn’t actually exist, are we talking here about a case of fraud perpetrated to make a quick buck, which is perhaps something that Georgia law enforcement authorities should also  be concerned about? Or, if Whitton and Dyer actually did discover a dead Bigfoot, another obvious question arises: To whom does the body legally belong?

Throughout the first third of the press conference, mainly softballs were lobbed at Biscardi and the Boys, but about midway through the questions became more pointed, the first of which regarded a series of YouTube videos released awhile back — made by Whitton and Dyer — where they claimed their discovery was a hoax. These videos have since been removed from YouTube, and Whitton stated that they produced these videos on account of death threats they had received, as well as unmarked cars with tinted windows monitoring their homes in the prospects of having a glimpse at a dead Bigfoot body. At this point, Biscardi came up to the podium with Whitton and brushed off these videos as simple attempts by the boys to get some “psychos” off their backs.

Next, Biscardi was asked about a certain Bigfoot body he claimed to have discovered in 2005 during an interview with George Noory on Coast to Coast AM. Biscardi thanked the reporter for her question and went on to explain that it was “a deranged woman from Stagecoach, Nevada…she convinced one of my people up north that she had one of these things in captivity…I supported her allegations until I went out there and found out that she was mentally ill and we sought help for her.” Another perspective on this episode was written up by C2C observer Tim Binnall and is archived here:

http://www.binnallofamerica.com/binnall8.31.5.html

As for the reputed evidence unveiled at the press conference, I personally found it considerably less than compelling (and I’m sure everyone else present did, as well). The “evidence” in this case consisted of a DNA test –conducted by an apparently reputable source, Curt Nelson of the University of Minnesota — of three purported samples taken from the dead Bigfoot. One sample came back as having come from a human; the second was inconclusive, and the third sample test showed that it had come from an opossum! Biscardi speculated that this was because the dead Bigfoot might have actually eaten an opossum, as this third sample was taken from the creature’s intestine. What all of this proved, or didn’t prove, was beyond me, and what Biscardi and the boys were attempting to achieve by presenting this DNA analysis, one can only guess.

Photographic “evidence” was also presented, but said “evidence” seemed so spurious to this reporter that I don’t even think it worth commenting upon at this point. No doubt it will all soon turn up on the web, so you can eventually decide for yourselves if it indeed has any merit, or proves anything whatsoever.

 

The startling evidence!

 

So where does all of this leave us? Really with nothing, at the moment, as the proof — or lack thereof — is in the pudding (or iced pudding, as the case maybe) which is this purported frozen Bigfoot body allegedly hidden away in a safe house somewhere, soon to be revealed to FOX News’ very own Megan Kelly, then eventually the world.

Presently, the jury is still out. And I don’t expect them back anytime soon.

 

Get a job!

~ by gorightly on August 18, 2008.