The Latest Issue of Sky Mall!

Among the joys of flying the friendly skies (aside from delayed flights, lost luggage and bad airport food) is the opportunity to partake of yet another issue of Sky Mall, that wonderful catalog of consumer curiosities that awaits each frequent flyer in the seat pocket right beneath your fold down serving tray…And worry not, it’s ok to remove your copy and take it home with ya — it even says so on the front cover: ‘Free Copy – Take it. We’ll replace it!”

Adorning this latest ish of Sky Mall is a blond babe on a Knievel Cycle which you can have delivered to your home for the mere $23,000. But not only can you get such high end items as this in each and every edition of Sky Mall, but this catalog is also replete with seemingly high tech items that provide apparently quacky cures to almost every imaginable ailment, from ring worms to halitosis. Below you see an item called Aculife which allows the user to administer their very own acupuncture without having to hire a Chinese Doctor. Only 199.95, which of course is cheaper than 200 clams.

If that acu-thing ain’t enough, you can get your complexion good-to-go with this deep lighting therapy gizmo for only 399.95, which of course is infinitely cheaper than 400 bucks.

Other cool shit includes an R2D2 robot vacuum cleaner that truly is robotic and responds to voice commands. Like: “Clean that shit up you little fuck!”

To complete your Sky Mall purchasing experience you can also have your very own bigfoot lawn sculpture which no wannabe cryptozoologist should be without!

~ by gorightly on September 11, 2010.

3 Responses to “The Latest Issue of Sky Mall!”

  1. Who paid you!?

  2. I wish I got paid for this crap…

  3. Adam, next time you fly, could you pick me up a copy? Every time I attempt to fly I get hauled out of line by half a dozen jack-booted IQ-challenged security rent-a-thugs, beaten on the kidneys by batons, and hurled down three flights of stone steps to the tarmac.
    Do you think it’s my plaid turban together with my 1965 issue Chuck Taylors?

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