Adam Gorightly’s Quarterly Rectal Report

As part of our ongoing mission to keep you, dear readers, informed of each and every movement of my bowels, I am introducing a new recurring feature here at Untamed Dimensions entitled The Quarterly Rectal Report, an area of exploration we have visited before in a previous post called Adam Gorightly’s Inner Journey.

I was prompted to take this bold leap into the inner sanctum of my internal kingdom after a visit to get lab work done recently and the doc there gave me the following paperwork for extracting stool samples.

scan2

After returning home, and upon closer review, I was a bit taken aback with the wording on said directions for “Fecal Occult Blood” which made me wonder if this was all part of some dastardly Downardian occult ritual I had fallen prey to. To that end, I am seriously considering blowing the whole thing off!

~ by gorightly on April 9, 2009.

10 Responses to “Adam Gorightly’s Quarterly Rectal Report”

  1. That can’t be real.Next they’ll check women for the pirity of “Starfire” predicated upon Illuminati bloodline.Well,that’s an oxymoron.

  2. purity

  3. That’s the paperwork they gave me. No lie.

  4. pooperwork

  5. Thinking of writing a song called “Fecal Occult Bloodline” now…

  6. Rock on, Tommy!

  7. Oh, it’s real. I’ve had to do these things. It happens after you turn 50.

    By coincidence, I was at the doctor this very day, handing a nice looking young woman my dark urine sample. I soon sadly discovered that there was still blood it in. This merely confirmed that, indeed, I’m into Week Two of my third bout with kidney stones since the days of Columbine.

    It’s a rather weird feeling to “be happy” that this is the finding, as opposed to, well, kidney infection, cancer, or worst (whatever that is).

    I’ll take the urine sampling any day over the kind you are truthfully talking about here.

    Heaven help you if they do find blood in your feces.

  8. Loren, you’re right on all counts except that I haven’t turned 50 yet!

  9. LOL! Sorry about that.

    Perhaps the Masonic medical conspiracy is that they merely feel you live a lifestyle that makes them think your body is 50ish plus. Either that or they just want your DNA!

    🙂

  10. In the Czech Republic the government was ‘toppled’ a couple of weeks ago, and the new Premier was sworn in yesterday , his name is Jan FISCHER. He will attempt to extricate Czech and Europe from the poopookaka it wallows in. He’s not an MP, as in unelected by anyone yet will be President of EU for a month and Premier of Czech for 6

    Cheers

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