Is Kim Jong ill?

Kim Jong is ill. That seems to be the popular sentiment running rampant in the international press, which certainly comes as sad news to this intrepid reporter, as I’ve long been inspired and equally amused by this little roly-poly Mao wannabe with a Napoleon complex and stylish sense of flair. (See my article Fashions Crimes of Dictators & Despots for more on the likes of Kim Jong ll and our planets other illustrious leaders and their fashion do’s and don’ts.)

What amuses me about Kim is obvious — dude’s a freak. What inspires me about the boy is the way he has steadfastly given the finger without reservation to the ol’ US of A for many years now. Crazy fuckers like that give hope to the human race, and says something about an undying spirit and refusal to be pushed around by the neighborhood bully, whether he be draped in stars and stripes or swastikas and sickles.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as patriotic as the next jack-off, and if push came to shove I would most certainly defend our golden shores against the Asian menace in all its manifest forms, but I certainly respect a country like North Korea for going against the NWO flow, however wacky their methods may be. Kim has long promoted his nation’s artists speaking out against US imperialism, which can be witnessed in the next two videos.

Video 1

Video 2

As you can see, North Korea is 2nd only to the good ol’ USA when it comes to nationalistic propaganda and jingoism. Just the same, you gotta admire their spunk!

Throwing darts at the USA

Kim Jong ll has always promoted a strong sense of nationalism in his native populace, creating a surreal atmosphere that is not only nationalistic, but also quite cute and cuddly at times, such as the legion of “traffic directors” that can be found in North Korean city streets who do a stylish little dance as they wave their batons about conducting traffic to and fro.

I mean, who’s not to love a cute little Korean gal dolled up in official blue uniform with her authoritative yet fun filled baton? Makes me want to adopt a child bride!

Strangely, it is has been said, Kim is obsessed with western culture, and spends much of his time watching shows like Dallas or Dukes of Hazzard. And even though he so deeply bemoans western civilization, one gets the impression that this is a love/hate relationship, and that in his heart of hearts he would really love to be Walker Texas Ranger or even some sort of reality TV show hack wallowing in the insidious muck of US pop culture. Couldn’t you just picture Kim Jong on The Surreal World talking shit to Omarosa while getting soused sipping out a cocktail glass replete with a little umbrella?

Kim Jong, we love you – get well soon!

Omarosa: Back off bitch!

~ by gorightly on September 10, 2008.

6 Responses to “Is Kim Jong ill?”

  1. I thought he died in 2003? This must be one of his clones.

  2. No, that was his hair.

  3. What about the “Fucking USA” song? You’ve heard that one, right?

  4. Yes sir, it’s one of the video clips in the post.

  5. From what I’ve heard and read, KJI is quite taken with blondes as well. He reportedly has one of the largest collection of Swedish pornography in the world.

  6. KJI Rocks!

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